i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
