When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
