It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
