hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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