We're like a lot better than the average bears
we have pet lesbian snakes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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