Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
NoShamevember. You game?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
