I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
