They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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