are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
