only you would photoshop your dick
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize