I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
