But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
