Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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