What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
