So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
