This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
