Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
