Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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