So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
