So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
