just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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