I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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