is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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