Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize