There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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