We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
