He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize