And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
