Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I stole a fireplace last night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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