I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
