I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
