i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
