im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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