how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
