this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
