Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
