I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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