I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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