I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Randomize