I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
