she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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