Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
