I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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