My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
