Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
