booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
it was like eating out sand paper
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
