Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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