I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
As shirtless as possible
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
