Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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