yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
