Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
