lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
