dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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