Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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