I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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