How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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