at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
