i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize