We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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