Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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